Xero's other waste of space

June 28, 2004

back to normal

Filed under: General — Xero @ 10:30 pm

I hate american teenage culture. So what else is new. Yeah, well since I haven’t been hating it as much recently now being exposed to it again has reengaged my hatred.

So why don’t all you pathetic fools go write in your xangas and complain about how bad of a time you had after you made your mom schlep you all over the damn place to hang out with your “friends.” Display your angst as you proceed to listen to so called punk bands.

Bitch and moan at every little thing that doesn’t go your way. Complain to get your way and complain when you don’t. Complain to complain. Act independent but show severe dependence. Whine whine whine.

People say it’s being spoiled. Too old fashioned of a definition. What does spoil mean anyway? To take away, to seize, to corrupt, to decay. It’s not at all an accurate description of what is truly going down.

Stupidity, that’s what it is. And not just of the teenager. Also of the parent. It’s a control game with the parent losing. It’s past the point of failure though. Now they’re old enough to form their own opinions and ideas, changing the way they are is not something you can force.

Not giving into them is something you can do. When I stand firmly against stupidity the reaction is complete silence. There is nothing they can do, nothing they can say. The flawed philosophy is inherently going to fail against any good opposition.

So go write in your journals about how bad everything is and the stupid events that happened in your insubstantial life. I hate you damn teenage socialites. You should all go jump off a bridge and I know you’ll all follow each other.

Listen to your “independent” pop culture rap and punk trash music and like whatever your friends do. Of course question it and they’ll tell you it’s all self-formed opinion. Yeah right. We’re talking about people with dependency problems here. Good job, you think you’re independent. Fuck you.

No bullshit. I don’t care about your flawed emotional process, so if it makes you sad, aww, too bad. Makes you angry? Too bad. Annoys you? Get the picture? I’m not doing shit for you, you don’t do nothing for me, why should I? Money? I’m not selling out, especially not to stupidity.

Emogirls. And their male whores. They’ll be running the country some day you know. Yeah, since when have we had a president that was spectacular? We’re not a country of originality or independence anymore. Drones. All drones.

You know I was getting all anxious over health shit but now I see it was just a silly death fear thing. Yeah, one day we’re all going down. Some people are so robotic in their actions that it’s scary. It almost makes death seem required rather than inevitable.

If those idiots from a few hundred years ago were still around forcing silly religious ideas on people and killing those who objected, I’d probably kill them myself. And at that there’s still too much stupidity. So fuck people.

I’m tired of people. Tired of doing shit for them and helping them, because in the end I’m a selfish animal and being social to survive is not the only way.

Being in groups to be stronger only works when the group isn’t a bunch of idiots. Fuck that. Find me one group that doesn’t suck and I’ll show you a group that’s not lasting very long. Fact is, the world favors stupid.

June 10, 2004

pissing me off

Filed under: General — Xero @ 4:28 am

I’m still having these bouts. It’s pissing me off. I just came home from therapy and as soon as I get home I have another health anxiety attack. I am really starting to get annoyed with this. I have an appointment with a dermatologist in 2 weeks and that’s a long time to be acting like this. I really want to get this checked out sooner. I can’t live with this uncertainty anymore.

I thought I made some progress but it seems the exact opposite. I’ve been unable to do much other than worry the past day. I had finally got over the last bout of this and then last night I’m itching my back and I notice a lump and it’s a mole and it was like bleeding or something. I tell myself that I probably picked it open and it’s nothing but I can’t convince myself that, I can’t wait the 2 weeks, It’s disturbing me too much. And even if I do go and they take it off and then I have to wait for the results I’ll be just as crazy then too, so I really don’t want to wait anymore.

I keep having these fears of skin cancer. I can’t stand it, I don’t know what to do.

god damnit I don’t want cancer. I don’t want to die, not now.

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