Xero's other waste of space

January 17, 2003

Filed under: General — Xero @ 10:12 pm

I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I’m yet again bored but this time lost at the same time. I don’t know what I mean by that as I feel I’m just writing this to reduce this annoying bored feeling in my head. I only have an hour until I get to watch a show and have my boredom partially reduced but that leaves a whole hour for me to waste.

Why waste time anyhow? I don’t know I seem to just want time to go as fast as possible so it eventually gets to points where I’ll get things that I want. What I do in the time between there and now well that doesn’t seem to matter in my book. This is getting old. I must have wrote about being bored 4 times or more and it’s bullshit. I’m tired of writing about being bored I don’t want to be bored anymore.

I can learn things but how? I seem to only learn things when I figure it out myself. I never learned much from school though, I was constantly bothered by my parents to do my homework and by the school. I’m sure the school was bothering my parents as well. I always have dreams with kids from my school in them now. It’s coming back to haunt me. I don’t like learning things I don’t care about but what if I don’t care about anything? Then there’s no point of learning I suppose. Progressively digging a hole deeper and deeper it seems eventually I won’t be able to get out of it because it’s too damn deep.

What the hell am I talking about? I don’t know I seem to talk out my ass when I’m feeling bored. I feel somewhat euphoric as well. I’m not sure what the hell that means. I don’t know. I’m tired of this crap oh wait didn’t I say that already? This seems pointless.

My cat is sleeping on his bed which is on my desk. He doesn’t seem to get bored and his life contains of sleeping most of the time…then eating…then running around. It must be fun. That simple life style, even simpler then mine. It seems like a good thing to me, why make tools to survive…why do all the things we humans do for no reason other then making things more complicated?

It seems useless in the long run. A world that rotates around a territory system we call money and instead of just fighting your opponents you use the territory system to your advantage. Beating up people is looked down on. Use the system or be outcasted. Instead of fighting it’s whoever has the most money and the best lawyers. Big corporations buying out politicians, making the system even more flawed. In the end our system is more complicated and more flawed then the simple system that the animals around us have been using for ages.

So I look at my cat sleeping on my desk and I see superiority. Living the life and yet having so little. I’m tired of bitching about the government now. It seems to just be progressively getting worse, I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Instead of one dictator running a country we have a country acting as a dictator. What to do? It seems hopeless. To even try to get changes made you need more money then the opponent and when you’re dealing with the richest people in the country it seems to be a loop.

People don’t want to loose their system when it benefits them. The greed and selfishness of it all. There is always the smart asses who are like “that’s capitalism get used to it” I’m tired of people like that. Giving up so easily and why? Most likely because they gave in. They don’t want to fight it’s easier to join in. There are people with millions of dollars who still work despite having enough money to support themselves and their family for the rest of their lives, what is the point? More money is more power and more power brings the system more flaws.

So again, back to the cats. These are creatures that do not communicate worldwide or over long distances, so there’s no way any one cat could try to gain power because their power would be limited to such a small area. This is a system which limits itself, unlike capitalism which has no limits. There is no limit to how much money you can have, therefor there is no limit to how much power you can gain. Look at microsoft, not even the government can control them despite the recent settlement which really did nothing at all to stop them.

Try to take a cats territory. It fights you off. It’s a simple system. Capitalism is based on greed. Communism is based on sharing, but all good ideas can be used for bad. Capitalism adds a whole new meaning to fighting people off. It’s whoever has the most money that wins. The fight has nothing to do with strength. In humans, strength means something different though. Who is right, who is more manipulative, who is more intelligent. Money outweighs that strength, but it takes strength to get that money, though usually leaning towards the manipulative side. Physical strength means nothing as the system is not based on physical fighting, it’s a mental battle because we’re evolved to use our brains for things like that.

An advantage? You decide.

January 14, 2003

pretend a friend

Filed under: General — Xero @ 10:29 pm

It’s only been a day since I posted last but a lot has happened. I’m a bit impatient as of now waiting for a show to come on I figured I’d write something to pass some time. Anyhow stuff has happened and it’s all for the best. I started to get a bit tired of some people and now they’re gone. So that’s that or so it would seem.

It’s hard to easily forget people you’ve known for years but there’s no need to forget. I admit I had good times and bad times with them but people change and so do I and sometimes it gets to the point where I can’t enjoy being around those certain people anymore. So what do I do?

First thing that I notice when I cut contact with someone is that I’ll be bored more often because the time I’d usually spend talking to them is no longer there. I find other things to do in those situations. That’s another thing though, I could probably do things that involve acquiring knowledge while bored. Learning to do things instead of getting distracted by people and having to experience them and all their character flaws pointing at me and laughing.

You can tell I was fed up. I’m becoming more sensitive to some peoples bullshit, more then I used to be at least. I suppose that’s good, I was taken advantage of way too many times in the past. I don’t want it happening again. Anyhow I’m not feeling too bad about the whole thing it’s a pretty neutral feeling. I don’t regret a thing.

It’s odd because the last 2 people I stopped talking to were the 2 people I had known the longest on the internet. I constantly questioned who they really were. I don’t think they knew the answer anymore then I did. Hiding in a way…from themselves. I seem to attract odd people that’s for sure. I am starting to get a bit annoyed at talking to people through the internet.

It’s the people I know online that have a normal social life in real life that usually don’t annoy me. They don’t have problems socializing I suppose. Those are people who I’ve never really gotten in any serious fights with, yet the people I got rid of I used to fight with pretty often. And they always made it seem as if I’m more responsible for that then they are. I’m sure they know people who they never fight with but that’s not the point. I’m talking about the relationship between me and them and that is what wasn’t working.

So all in all, one problem down, another to go. I suppose that’s how I look at life, a giant problem. I know people who say they look at life like a game but I don’t see it that way. It’s a giant problem with solutions that aren’t always readily available or easily findable. My mission will be to solve them I suppose. Some people’s problems are beyond help that’s one thing I think I’ve started to notice. Not because the problem isn’t solvable, it’s because they don’t want it to be solved.

When I write this kind of stuff it’s hard not to ask myself “hey what if I’m that way?” I’m not sure honestly, you never know I could be just as bad, but that would make sense. I mean how is anyone anymore worse or better then anyone else? I once was explaining that even people who I dislike are liked by someone. Just because I might think they’re a moron doesn’t mean they’re a moron to everyone. Those morons usually have friends, though I might not be one that doesn’t change that fact.

So in the end we’re all morons, it just depends who’s observing. Which reminds me of this thing I saw about dimensions of possibility and quantum theory. They had an example called “Schrodinger’s Cat” in which there’s a box with a radioactive element, a geiger counter, a jar of acid, and a cat inside of the box. One outcome is the radioactive element breaks down, the geiger counter releases a hammer which breaks the jar of acid, which pours on the cat, and the cat dies. The other outcome is that it doesn’t and the cat lives. Until you open that box the answer is both. It’s kind of like if a tree falls and no ones around to hear it does it make a sound? It all depends on the observation.

If we’re all morons what do we have to worry about? You could have someone who’s mentally retarded and some teenager who makes fun of people. So you have the parents of the retarded child who love it, and the teenager who makes fun of it. It all depends on who’s making the observation and if it’s even made at all.

In a way, opinion is nothing more then where you’re observing something from. And when I say that, I don’t really mean a physical place, I mean where you’re coming from, mentally. And if someones a follower, someone who doesn’t have their own opinions, they’re observing from a very limited view. Why limit yourself?

politically correct bullshit

Filed under: General — Xero @ 1:39 am

So I found this TV channel that plays a show I like but much of the stuff they play is politically correct bullshit. Their commercials are only their own, no products, etc, but they do promote their own shows. Seems good compared to other channel’s commercials right? Then you see the ones that are supposed to be interviews with kids or something but they’re really stupid. Let me explain.

They have a commercial that’s like “How important is it to be popular?” and “How do you ask someone on a date?” That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Another commercial they run on this channel is where to get advice about “body changes” as they call it. They also have commercials with pop stars saying “Real. Life. Now.” because that’s the channels motto or something. The whole channel seems like a false reality of teenage delusion. It’s another channel claiming it’s “real life” when in reality it’s just a bunch of bullshit promoting the “American Way.” Oh but wait, they have a show with a bunch of kids with an english accent, maybe it’s only partially the american way, we can’t just forget about the english now can we? Just forget about them being one of america’s biggest bitches and you have some really diverse TV!

I just watched this show on there and it has got to be the biggest load of crap. On the episode I saw it was basically a bunch of people hiding things because they’re embarrassed. First, a muslim black girl claims she’s jamaican. Then some boy that can sew well but tries to hide it by swapping his projects with the girl who sits next to him. Oh wow, as if sewing is soo embarrassing. I wasn’t too bad at it to be honest and I never gave a rats ass but just remember, this show is REAL LIFE NOW! And next week, a guy who’s questioning his sexuality and a girl who wants him to make some moves on her.

On top of all that they have the average brain dead teenagers doing stereotypical things, and that’s on top of all the stereotypes this show supposedly deals with. So to conclude it, you have teenagers obsessing over clothes and useless materialistic items. Then at the same time racial bullshit, lying to enhance self-image, and teenagers who don’t know where to get advice.

The only person who’d actually need this “advice” these shows or commercials give are people who are lost in a dreamworld (see post below.) Following others around and perhaps bad at finding information. So not only do they have bad resources (the people they follow) they can’t find information other then these bad resources. And I suppose these shows are supposed to be a help?

So back to reality, the advice is useless. Only those who already realize the things this show deals with would understand it enough to be able to use it. And obviously if it’s supposed to help people who don’t understand in the first place it’s going to fail. You can’t just point someone at the obvious answer and say “you’re wrong here’s the right way” when they’ve not even taken a step to getting there. It’s like telling a 7 year old to grow up as if the next day they’ll just be cured of immaturity.

If only ignorance truly was bliss.

January 7, 2003

media drones strike back, enter the dreamworld

Filed under: General — Xero @ 9:08 pm

I think I am starting to hate everyone. Anyhow what’s with teenage girls and posting poems/lyrics about broken up relationships in their profiles/webpages/journals/etc? There’s some guys that post lyrics too but it’s not as bad as the guilt-trip-relationship-breakup bullshit that the girls post. Anyhow it’s always from girls who are totally flawed when it comes to being in relationships. They’re the same people who listen to emo/punk bands and take it like it’s a religion. I don’t get that.

Most of these kids who think they’re punk claim they’re like original and that they listen to indie and non-commercialized bands and that they’re not pop/sellout but when you listen to the music it so obviously is. The lyrics simply suck, the music itself is bad. There’s also the commercialized ones which are even worse. What’s with these whiny ass singers whining about breaking up and what not? It’s so obviously targeted directly toward teenage girls who have no idea how to be in a relationship which further promotes their skewed views of what a relationship should be about. And people wonder why the divorce rate is going up, hah. Some adults are effected by this shit too, which just makes it even more sad.

What do you expect from a society that promotes people to be selfless materialistic morons? I guess you can’t expect too much. I’m sure the first thing that comes to most peoples minds is that “Oh hey you’re not the greatest in relationships, you suck at being social.” Well, maybe that’s true or false, maybe it’s everyone else thats a moron. Even so, at least I don’t go around posting bullshit lyrics about how much pain some guy was in or what not after he broke up.

And then there’s the people who think love is something more then a chemical addiction caused by the brain, so when some girl gets attached to some guy she never gets over the fact that the guy just doesn’t like her and refuses to accept the fact that it’s most likely caused by herself producing chemicals causing her to be that way. They don’t get over the fact that the dreamworld relationships in movies, TV, and talked about in music are not real.

There’s no perfect relationships where everything is lovey dovey. It’s funny because I just talked about the 2 extremes. Expecting too much from a relationship, and then these same people watching/listening to poems/music/movies/tv about the “pain” after their dreamworld relationships end. Many times if they hadn’t expected too much in the first place they would have realized no relationship is perfect and most of that pain may not have been there in the first place.

So in the end what do you really look for in relationships if love is just an addiction? I’m sure everyone will want to know that because if they can’t look for love what is there to look for! I’d say someone you can put up with is what you look for. Essentially, that is what matters. If you can’t put up with them, you obviously wouldn’t want to be dating them, unless you enjoyed the pain, but that’s a whole different story.

I am sick and tired of viewing things containing bullshit lyrics which mean nothing. I don’t care if you think you feel the same way, the reason why you thought you felt that way in the first place was over a delusion. Get over yourselves, silly drones.


Filed under: General — Xero @ 2:17 pm

I was going to write something but I cannot think of anything to write. I’m bored right now and my foot hurts because I must have did something to it. It’s annoying as fuck. I hope it goes away soon I was hoping it’d go away overnight but it didn’t. I swear I’m falling apart or something. Everyone dies eventually.

Anyhow I’m bored and my cat seems bored and today must just be a boring day and now that my foot hurts today is even more boring. So anyhow oh hey look I have some email how fun maybe I’ll be less bored now. What fun, time to recompile some stuff. Fun fun fun so I’m still bored now. Maybe something exciting will happen soon but I doubt it. Let’s see here…put on some music…yes I’ll set the music thing now. Okay so that’s done but nope still bored and I can’t sit in a comfortable position because my foot hurts so that just makes it even more boring.

It’s -3C outside which is good. My windows are open so it’s cold in here that’s good. Everything is good but I don’t care because I am bored so now everything sucks. I have an idea of something to do. Damn nope well that sucked. Maybe I can try something else here…Still bored….I don’t know why I’m writing this I’ve been writing this for like over an hour literally because I’m just writing as I try to find something to do but end up bored oh well screw it.

I’m done.

Powered by WordPress