Xero's other waste of space

August 3, 2002

i hate fucking waking up

Filed under: General — Xero @ 12:26 pm

everyday I wake up and my back hurts and my head is all fucked up feeling. I hate waking up why do I sleep? oh wait heh cause I’m tired…well okay but its fucking annoying to wake up and feel like you were just ran over by an 18 wheeler. blah fuck it. i can’t think of anything good to write right now and i feel like crap so I’m just leaving it at that.

August 2, 2002

holy shit people piss me off

Filed under: General — Xero @ 6:33 pm

I’ve recently encountered large amounts of obvious bullshit from certain individuals. This bullshit, with apparently no reason other then to raise their self image and imaginary sense of higher intelligence. Now, you ask, why the hell would someone do this? Well, I honestly can’t answer that one but trust me the answer is probably so stupid that you wouldn’t want to know it anyway.

It’s funny how double sided some people are, one minute you can be having a normal conversation but as soon as it comes to something that requires knowledge they automatically know all as if there’s a machine reading them my deepest and darkest secrets. Actually I don’t really have any secrets with anyone probably because anything I want secret would no longer be secret once I’ve told someone, unless of course your supposed to believe that the the other person won’t tell anyone. In which case your secret is now theirs, more then yours, because they sort of “take” your secret, because now it’s not only in your control, but theirs too. I went a little off topic there, because they weren’t actually reading my secrets or anything, but they act as if they could. As if they have some magical power that other humans don’t. I’m so tired of people thinking they’re better then everyone and I notice it so much.

How much you know, your grades in school, your appearance, your behaviors, your race, and your religious beliefs, have nothing to do with being “better” then other people. In fact, one day I was thinking about how humans are all kind of mutated in one way or another, that humans are all sort of “impure” but then I laughed at the thought, because I know that no ones perfect, and it would be impossible to define this “perfect” anyway. Let me emphasize a bit on what I meant by impure, because you’d think I’d have meant something to do with religion or race or something, but it was nothing of the sort.

I was actually thinking about genetic makeup more then anything. It came to me after I witnessed a conversation about appearance and looks, and how no one is perfectly symmetric. Then it came to me, no ones perfectly free of problems. I once said, if someone had no mental problems what so ever, they had everything they wanted, were happy, and stayed that way, they’d probably get cancer the next day and die. A perfect human will never exist as long as the world as we know it exists. I think trying to be perfect in this world is just trying to win over the opinions of people. And there’s an easy way to do that. Lie, and become a fake.

Maybe thats the real problem here? People who are fake. Not in the aspect of not being there, but in the aspect that they aren’t themselves. People who act a certain way to further enhance how their intelligence appears but by doing it, are just lowering it by enhancing their intelligent with a lie. Is there a word for this? There should be. People who are selfish care only about themselves, people who are selfless care not about themselves but about other people. If you can’t first care about yourself then what point does caring for other people have? Especially since you can’t honestly hold the same opinion that everyone else has, without having your own, as their opinion would become your own. And if you’re letting other people make opinions for you, then you truly are selfless.

This just brings up another question, why would you want people to agree with you? Well, not everyone will agree with you but I seem to search for that in my friends. Funny, because almost all of them are fakes.

August 1, 2002

YES!!!!11~~

Filed under: General — Xero @ 4:46 pm



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