dunno
I feel like writing something. I’m not sure what to write though. Maybe I should write about what I’m thinking but lately everything I’ve been thinking I just forget about so apparently I don’t care. I think at first when I got this journal I was kind of pissed off at everything but now I’m not really pissed off at things as much. Sometimes I get pissed at something but not as much as I used to. Oh well.
Maybe I should write more? Or maybe I should stop. If I don’t have anything to write about then I can’t possibly write anything other then a silly rant like this. It’s a rant with no meaning because it had no point in the first place. Nothingness is a really just a loop. It’s November and I don’t even care. I’m waiting for things but it’s a wait that doesn’t end because after one wait ends I’ll just find something new to wait for. Of course theres always the things that I’ve been waiting on for a while and they’re usually things that require me to do something so apparently those won’t happen unless I get lucky. That used to happen a lot. Now it doesn’t.
My method is broken. Now what? Maybe I should stop waiting and make use of the time I have…but why? Waiting is easier, you don’t have to do anything. You know all through my life I was punished by waiting at school. It first started in kindergarten. I made fun of dixie cups, yes I called them dick cups or something like that. Anyway they made me sit in some room that seemed to be like 1.5m wide and 2m tall and that was my punishment. Later on after that I used to get sent there even more, that was just the beginning. In 3rd grade there was tons of that, being throw into empty rooms, then choosing to be in empty rooms. In Jr. High I had an in school suspension for telling the counselor off but you know what I don’t regret it at all. They made me sit in a blue room about the same size as the one from kindergarten and this time I had to do work but really the difference was little from the punishment used in kindergarten, the work was easier then it was in a classroom, no annoying kids bothering me. Detention isn’t much different. I don’t see why people think that’s punishment, it really is ineffective.
All that shit is over now and honestly I don’t care much about it. That is one of the things I was thinking of before. When I started writing this I thought I had forgot but I didn’t apparently. Oh well I’m not sure how relevant it is to truth.