Xero's other waste of space

January 14, 2003

pretend a friend

Filed under: General — Xero @ 10:29 pm

It’s only been a day since I posted last but a lot has happened. I’m a bit impatient as of now waiting for a show to come on I figured I’d write something to pass some time. Anyhow stuff has happened and it’s all for the best. I started to get a bit tired of some people and now they’re gone. So that’s that or so it would seem.

It’s hard to easily forget people you’ve known for years but there’s no need to forget. I admit I had good times and bad times with them but people change and so do I and sometimes it gets to the point where I can’t enjoy being around those certain people anymore. So what do I do?

First thing that I notice when I cut contact with someone is that I’ll be bored more often because the time I’d usually spend talking to them is no longer there. I find other things to do in those situations. That’s another thing though, I could probably do things that involve acquiring knowledge while bored. Learning to do things instead of getting distracted by people and having to experience them and all their character flaws pointing at me and laughing.

You can tell I was fed up. I’m becoming more sensitive to some peoples bullshit, more then I used to be at least. I suppose that’s good, I was taken advantage of way too many times in the past. I don’t want it happening again. Anyhow I’m not feeling too bad about the whole thing it’s a pretty neutral feeling. I don’t regret a thing.

It’s odd because the last 2 people I stopped talking to were the 2 people I had known the longest on the internet. I constantly questioned who they really were. I don’t think they knew the answer anymore then I did. Hiding in a way…from themselves. I seem to attract odd people that’s for sure. I am starting to get a bit annoyed at talking to people through the internet.

It’s the people I know online that have a normal social life in real life that usually don’t annoy me. They don’t have problems socializing I suppose. Those are people who I’ve never really gotten in any serious fights with, yet the people I got rid of I used to fight with pretty often. And they always made it seem as if I’m more responsible for that then they are. I’m sure they know people who they never fight with but that’s not the point. I’m talking about the relationship between me and them and that is what wasn’t working.

So all in all, one problem down, another to go. I suppose that’s how I look at life, a giant problem. I know people who say they look at life like a game but I don’t see it that way. It’s a giant problem with solutions that aren’t always readily available or easily findable. My mission will be to solve them I suppose. Some people’s problems are beyond help that’s one thing I think I’ve started to notice. Not because the problem isn’t solvable, it’s because they don’t want it to be solved.

When I write this kind of stuff it’s hard not to ask myself “hey what if I’m that way?” I’m not sure honestly, you never know I could be just as bad, but that would make sense. I mean how is anyone anymore worse or better then anyone else? I once was explaining that even people who I dislike are liked by someone. Just because I might think they’re a moron doesn’t mean they’re a moron to everyone. Those morons usually have friends, though I might not be one that doesn’t change that fact.

So in the end we’re all morons, it just depends who’s observing. Which reminds me of this thing I saw about dimensions of possibility and quantum theory. They had an example called “Schrodinger’s Cat” in which there’s a box with a radioactive element, a geiger counter, a jar of acid, and a cat inside of the box. One outcome is the radioactive element breaks down, the geiger counter releases a hammer which breaks the jar of acid, which pours on the cat, and the cat dies. The other outcome is that it doesn’t and the cat lives. Until you open that box the answer is both. It’s kind of like if a tree falls and no ones around to hear it does it make a sound? It all depends on the observation.

If we’re all morons what do we have to worry about? You could have someone who’s mentally retarded and some teenager who makes fun of people. So you have the parents of the retarded child who love it, and the teenager who makes fun of it. It all depends on who’s making the observation and if it’s even made at all.

In a way, opinion is nothing more then where you’re observing something from. And when I say that, I don’t really mean a physical place, I mean where you’re coming from, mentally. And if someones a follower, someone who doesn’t have their own opinions, they’re observing from a very limited view. Why limit yourself?

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