Xero's other waste of space

January 17, 2003

Filed under: General — Xero @ 10:12 pm

I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I’m yet again bored but this time lost at the same time. I don’t know what I mean by that as I feel I’m just writing this to reduce this annoying bored feeling in my head. I only have an hour until I get to watch a show and have my boredom partially reduced but that leaves a whole hour for me to waste.

Why waste time anyhow? I don’t know I seem to just want time to go as fast as possible so it eventually gets to points where I’ll get things that I want. What I do in the time between there and now well that doesn’t seem to matter in my book. This is getting old. I must have wrote about being bored 4 times or more and it’s bullshit. I’m tired of writing about being bored I don’t want to be bored anymore.

I can learn things but how? I seem to only learn things when I figure it out myself. I never learned much from school though, I was constantly bothered by my parents to do my homework and by the school. I’m sure the school was bothering my parents as well. I always have dreams with kids from my school in them now. It’s coming back to haunt me. I don’t like learning things I don’t care about but what if I don’t care about anything? Then there’s no point of learning I suppose. Progressively digging a hole deeper and deeper it seems eventually I won’t be able to get out of it because it’s too damn deep.

What the hell am I talking about? I don’t know I seem to talk out my ass when I’m feeling bored. I feel somewhat euphoric as well. I’m not sure what the hell that means. I don’t know. I’m tired of this crap oh wait didn’t I say that already? This seems pointless.

My cat is sleeping on his bed which is on my desk. He doesn’t seem to get bored and his life contains of sleeping most of the time…then eating…then running around. It must be fun. That simple life style, even simpler then mine. It seems like a good thing to me, why make tools to survive…why do all the things we humans do for no reason other then making things more complicated?

It seems useless in the long run. A world that rotates around a territory system we call money and instead of just fighting your opponents you use the territory system to your advantage. Beating up people is looked down on. Use the system or be outcasted. Instead of fighting it’s whoever has the most money and the best lawyers. Big corporations buying out politicians, making the system even more flawed. In the end our system is more complicated and more flawed then the simple system that the animals around us have been using for ages.

So I look at my cat sleeping on my desk and I see superiority. Living the life and yet having so little. I’m tired of bitching about the government now. It seems to just be progressively getting worse, I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Instead of one dictator running a country we have a country acting as a dictator. What to do? It seems hopeless. To even try to get changes made you need more money then the opponent and when you’re dealing with the richest people in the country it seems to be a loop.

People don’t want to loose their system when it benefits them. The greed and selfishness of it all. There is always the smart asses who are like “that’s capitalism get used to it” I’m tired of people like that. Giving up so easily and why? Most likely because they gave in. They don’t want to fight it’s easier to join in. There are people with millions of dollars who still work despite having enough money to support themselves and their family for the rest of their lives, what is the point? More money is more power and more power brings the system more flaws.

So again, back to the cats. These are creatures that do not communicate worldwide or over long distances, so there’s no way any one cat could try to gain power because their power would be limited to such a small area. This is a system which limits itself, unlike capitalism which has no limits. There is no limit to how much money you can have, therefor there is no limit to how much power you can gain. Look at microsoft, not even the government can control them despite the recent settlement which really did nothing at all to stop them.

Try to take a cats territory. It fights you off. It’s a simple system. Capitalism is based on greed. Communism is based on sharing, but all good ideas can be used for bad. Capitalism adds a whole new meaning to fighting people off. It’s whoever has the most money that wins. The fight has nothing to do with strength. In humans, strength means something different though. Who is right, who is more manipulative, who is more intelligent. Money outweighs that strength, but it takes strength to get that money, though usually leaning towards the manipulative side. Physical strength means nothing as the system is not based on physical fighting, it’s a mental battle because we’re evolved to use our brains for things like that.

An advantage? You decide.

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