Xero's other waste of space

March 31, 2003

april fools day

Filed under: General — Xero @ 8:20 pm

So tomorrow is “April Fools Day.” I never got this semi-holiday at all. I’m not sure of the origins of it but as it’s a tradition based on a day of the year, I automatically hate it. It’s bad enough with valentines, christmas, hanukkah, kwanzaa, new years, thanksgiving, plus the millions of other mini-holidays. I’m seriously getting tired of all these holidays.

What’s the point? I can remember in school liking them because I’d get a day off, which further goes back to my idea of just renaming December to Holiday-Month and just letting progress of the world come to a complete halt for a month. Everyone would have to stock up on canned foods as if it was the end of the world. Maybe then people would see how stupid these holidays are.

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against getting days off from work but it’s the underlying reason of those days that is annoying me. April Fools is typically a day where people don’t get off so I suppose it’s exempt from this. Still, a day where you pull pranks on people? Can’t we just do that anytime we want? Oh but it’s more excusable because it’s April Fools day.

Then you got christmas, some jew dies and romans make a religion, big fucking deal.

Hanukkah, a candle supposedly stays lit for 8 days, I’ve been told this story is possibly false and that some jews made it up just so they have a holiday comparable to christmas. Pathetic if it’s true.

Kwanzaa? No fucking idea what this is, but I’m sure it’s dumb.

New years, the celebration of our calender system. This one’s just stupid.

Thanksgiving, from what I hear is far from the stories you always hear about peace with the natives. Just another useless holiday.

Presidents day? Give me a break, rounding off Lincoln and Washington’s birthday? Come on they didn’t even try on this one.

Valentines day? Hallmark monopoly at it’s best. I’ll be your valentine after I give you paper cuts with every valentines day card I’ve ever received.

Easter is just the opposite of christmas. Those romans are really pissing me off. It’s all because of them that most of the united states is delusional.

There’s a bunch of jewish ones like yom kippor and rushashunna or something like that. One’s about 10 plagues which in reality was just the yearly cycle of the Nile river minus the slaying of the first born and the other is just a jewish version of the new year. Both useless.

There’s St. Patrick’s day which is just silly. Damn leprechauns.

There’s mothers and fathers day which is just more hallmark bullshit. Cards are stupid. Everyone in my family is a compulsive card giver and it’s annoying as hell. I bet they’ve made hallmark over $10,000.

I’m sure there’s more I’m missing but I think I’ve made my point. All these holidays (holy days?)are useless. I say use a random number generator at the beginning of each year that picks 30 days for people to have off that aren’t weekends. This way everyone can get their days off and I don’t have to deal with this stupid bullshit. Plus it wouldn’t be 30 days in a row so the progress of the world wouldn’t come to a complete halt. I think I’m on to something here.

Religion really pisses me off. I still have trouble believing how many people still follow that bullshit.

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