Xero's other waste of space

April 22, 2003


Filed under: General — Xero @ 9:25 pm

What is time anyway? I’ve come to the conclusion that time is a measurement of the chemical reactions which eventually lead to our death. Days pass and people get older. Cells divide and cells die. Why does time even matter? Who says we need to obey to our instincts other then our brains?

As humans we feel. Feelings and emotions are designed for survival. You want those close to you to survive so you feel for them. I’ve known this and understand it. It seems sometimes that I can drop this instinct to care about others. Yes, everyone loves their family and so on. It’s old news. It’s amazing how these human instinctual feelings can get in the way of logic and in fact destroy some people’s reasoning.

You can’t be unbiased if these instincts come in the way. In the end we’re a bunch of chemical reactions and we are designed to change. Unlike random atoms floating around in space which probably don’t get any change for long periods of time, we change constantly. We will do the things needed to survive because instinct tells us to. So we want those around us to survive as well, as they have part in our survival. Since they’re around you, they’re providing something. What that is would be another matter the point is that they do provide something otherwise there’d be no reason for you to feel for them.

So giving up a basic survival instinct, though one not required to physically survive but perhaps more of a mental comfort. So people die and everyone is sad for a while. Everyone tries to remember all the good times they had but then comes the big slap in the face that the person is now dead. Memorials and funerals annoy me, all it seems to do is make everyone sad and being sad is contagious like yawning.

Maybe I’m cold. Maybe I never really felt for anyone in the first place. That’s not true though. Sometimes to be unbiased you need to take that step and realize whats going on. Sure it’s sad to the humans and goes against what they want, but a cycle that has been going on forever. From my point of view these feelings of sadness are a waste of time. The compassion and caring is nothing but a survival instinct. If you can claim to know and understand your instincts, yet you still react to them, do you truly understand them?

If you truly understood what was going on you wouldn’t need to react in the instinctual way. You understand what it is so you take your own path. Perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe I’m hiding my feelings. I don’t think this is the case though. I’m able to see what many others will not. This to me is proof that I am seeing things much differently and not just hiding what I see.

Why am I here anyway? It all seems so boring now. A big survival competition and whoever has the biggest is the best. I am living in a crazy world that I am. Now what am I going to do? Oh yeah, join in on the fun and follow instinct. I’m not one to follow anything though.

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