Xero's other waste of space

May 17, 2004


Filed under: General — Xero @ 4:18 am

Living in a world with sets of abstract rules. Rules made for our survival and rules that most follow without questioning the reason behind.

Chemical reactions evolved into organisms which all carry out predefined tasks required to survive and reproduce. Work and sex and learning the standards in which society expects and projects upon others.

I don’t see the purpose. What is the purpose of all this? When I look at human behavior and compare it to some bacteria fighting for survival in a petri dish I see little difference. I see the way we’ve adapted technologies to be able to support more of our specie and entertain us while we’re doing nothing.

I see the way most blindly follow. I see the way the world works in a perspective much different from others.

Some people think I’m lost from reality because I don’t obey by all the rules. I say that I’m closer to reality and have seen enough to ask, what’s the point?

What is the point of our existence and the things we do. Why do chemical reactions evolve and form beings? And when they do what’s the difference from when they don’t? What’s the point of following all the rules? What’s the point of doing the things we need to survive? To prevent pain? To prevent feelings our preprogrammed bodies tell us are bad? To let the mind cloud reality? Why survive?

Why benefit ourselves? Just because we’re surviving who says we have to? By blindly following the rules of society it leaves unquestioned the purpose of it all. Most people will just leave that to some silly religious meaning.

What is the point of all this? Is this a waste of time? It’s starting to seem like it as days go by. I’m starting to see. I’m starting to see the patterns of everyone else and realize how pointless it all is. So what happens if I do nothing?

I’ve never truly did nothing. My feeble human body is incapable at the moment. What about when I die? The world still goes on without me. And with that the whole pattern continues and the question still must be asked, why?

I guess chemical reactions will happen no matter what so things will go on. The things we do and say and the jobs we carry out and the miscellaneous events that occur during the day all these things are chemical reactions. Even social events are chemical reactions. They’re the chemical reactions of socialization. A process that was invented from the atomic evolution into material forms which then evolved to be able to create a sub-reaction to further benefit our survival.

And still the question is unanswered. There’s no point. So why do anything? To enjoy it? It still is pointless. I can obey by the rules. I can go get a job and find a girl and have kids and do all the typical events that humans do and I still will ask, what’s the point?

I might experience pleasure and pain and I still will ask, what’s the point? I will never understand the purpose of this weird weird place we live in and at that the universe it just happens to be sitting in.

I’m not confused or afraid, I’m not angry or upset, I’m not happy or sad, I’m not depressed or manic, I’m not any silly rationalization of the fact that I don’t really care about obeying the rules of a system I see no point to. I’m not going to let my words be denied by ignorance.

I don’t care about some silly governments fighting it out, I don’t care to fight for one, I don’t care to benefit any specific group, I don’t care to help the needy, I don’t care to save the planet, I don’t care about the survival of the human race, because I still don’t see the point.

I don’t care enough to be told what I can and can’t do by threats of enforcement agencies and waiting games. What’s the point? The ones who don’t benefit the survival of the human race, or more specifically the group which the individual lives in, get thrown away. We’re chemical reactions fighting it out just like bacteria in a petri dish, and who has the right to tell me that I must also join in on the fighting? Why must I pick a side when both sides are wrong? Who says I have to fight? People who are blind from reality, that’s who. The people who make the rules we obey by. The leaders appointed by humans for humans using more layers of systems and structures that we’ve built. The people who are appointed to lead and/or benefit a specific group of humans, of which almost all are lost from reality.

There’s no point to any of it, it’s all just a silly game to see who ends up the victor in a fight for survival and then in the end the sun burns out and we’re all trashed and the process repeats all over again in some distant galaxy far away.The only point anyone can ever come up with is some silly point which is only beneficial to the human race, and at that, what’s the point? What does it matter if we’re here or not, other than some selfish desire or instinct? Can you say things are better or worse with or without us? And at that you have to realize better and worse are just silly things we invented. So there’s no point to that either.

There’s really absolutely no point for me to do anything so if I am going to do something I might as well do what I want to do. I don’t even know what I want to do. What’s the point of doing something? I certainly don’t want to do the stuff other people tell me to do, because that stuff is even more pointless. A flawed system has no point.

I really wish I could truly not care about a damn thing. It’d make all this pointlessness a lot easier to handle. I’m tired of flawed systems. I’m tired of the false reality that others believe in. I may be lost but certainly much less so than the majority.

Don’t tell me what to do if you don’t see what you do.

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