in retrospect
So let’s do something I don’t normally do and break this apart piece by piece.
Today (well yesterday at this point) wasn’t the greatest day in the world. It started with a knock on my door around 5 telling me dinner will be ready soon. Later another knock, dinner has arrived.
I head down, it’s something which I like. Overall everything is okay at this point. Robin and Sam our next door neighbors and my mom’s cousin have a son who is hanging around waiting for me to finish so we can play some games. He hangs over my shoulder while I’m eating which was somewhat annoying but all and all, still fine up to this point. My sister, who remained quiet most of the time. My cousin Lauren and my mom’s cousin Gary are over. Lauren, I’m not sure why, and Gary was working on some things around the house. My grandma as normal sitting at the end of the table with her wine-glass full of water.
Let’s talk about the culprits for a bit. Lauren is my recently impregnated cousin, whom which I’ve written about before. Gary is generally a cool guy but what I’ve realized through this experience is that Gary is also a suck up when the opportunity emerges. If he can stick his nose in to business which isn’t his in order to look good he will.
Since I’ve known him, or at least known him well which has been the past two months or so, I’ve had numerous conversations and experiences with him, and usually it goes without a problem. Once someone else is introduced into the picture, and I happen to disagree with whatever that person is saying, Gary will take the eldest persons side. Usually he throws around words like respect to back up their arguments but more then anything he just adds fuel to the flames and usually nothing gets resolved. If it’s someone younger than me, he takes my side, for example, my sister.
My grandma, well she’s somewhat insane. She stays in the house all day, sleeps to even odder hours then I do, and leaves only to go to doctors appointments, nothing else. She has this thing with everything being clean, to the point where she’ll be looking at the kitchen counter tops from odd angles in order to see what she’d probably describe as “such filth.” I’d say it’s your text book case of OCD coupled with agoraphobia what do I know? I wouldn’t be surprised if many of her symptoms were caused by the insane amounts of pills she takes daily, which is well over the amount of 20.
Back to the situation. I am done eating and decide to ask my cousin Lauren to ask her parents if they had found my pellet rifles which were stored at their house. This was done because Sam our next door neighbor said I shouldn’t bring them here. Meanwhile after discussing it with both my grandparents neither of them had a problem with it after I explained my reasoning. Of course that doesn’t rule out the option that someone could be having a mood swing…
So I’m asking this at the dinner table which may not have been the best timing, I might have been better off asking my aunt or uncle directly however since I had no idea when I’d next see them I decided to have her relay the message. My grandma interrupts and makes some comment about how she doesn’t want me to bring them here.
Now I was quite angry seeing as I had a good conversation with her about it and my reasoning as to why. It’s not like I’d shoot them around here, I’m not dumb. I explained how I found a piece to one of my guns, or more specifically the scope which my one rifles had, sitting in the den of my aunt and uncles house on a desk they have in there. That had me a bit outraged seeing as I did not expect my guns to be damaged while being kept there. Of course this whole issue is sensitive to most people because we’re talking about guns however I do treat this much differently, I have no sinister motives, I like shooting for fun. I did not plan to shoot them here, just prevent them from further damage. And they weren’t cheap pellet rifles, I spent well over $350 on them. And they were quite powerful, certainly not toys.
Plus I’m 18 now, aren’t I supposed to be responsible? I mean come on I’m not some punk kid. Is my reasoning all that bad in this case? I can legally buy a real gun now none the less a pellet rifle, why is this an issue? In fact I plan to buy a real gun and get a concealed weapons license when I am 21. I have the right to do that in this country, I don’t need a reason, though people always want one. No, I don’t plan on shooting people.
Anyway, this is the standpoint I am coming from when I ask my cousin as to whether or not my guns have been located. When my grandma suddenly says no I ask her why she is contradicting what she previously said and she responded with something like “I can change my mind.” Sure, but now you’re letting people down, and that’s not something any level of respect someone is supposed to have for you is going to change.
In the midst of all this I say the word “hell” once. As soon as that’s been said instead of explaining why she’s suddenly changed her mind, she proceeds to pick on my choice of words. Unlike your average “dikshonary” your moral evangelist picks not on words which are spelt wrong but rather words which are morally objectionable.
Meanwhile my cousin Lauren goes off topic as well and starts questioning my reasoning, which was not really any of her business, and Gary is siding himself with my grandma in the name of respect and/or brown nosing. I say something to the order of “this is the 21st century, hell is not exactly the most offensive word in the world anymore.” I mean shit we’re Jews we don’t even believe in hell. I have to admit, I bit the bait here. I probably should have got back on topic but at this point it had already turned into an argument.
So in the process of this I’m throwing away my paper plate and putting my cup in the dish washer and such so I’m at the other side of the room. My grandma is now no longer part of this conversation as Gary proceeds to yell at me about respect. He says something to the extent of this isn’t your house so you have to obey by their rules. I said that I know it’s not my house but that does not mean I will obey by illogical rules. He says something like that’s not an option and you have no choice. Followed by something like that’s part of the real world get used to it and other such things parental-sounding misguidance.
Oh yeah and of course he says that I must respect them because they’re paying for this or that. I said to him that I won’t respect someone simply because they paid for something. I said that respect has to be mutual and has to be earned. He responds saying basically the same thing, that the real world means you must respect those who have money or in his case those who are giving you money. You see, my grandparents are paying him to do work around the house, and he’s not doing all that well financially. I’d guess this is much of his motivation. Also he has some of that moral evangelist in him too seeing as he’s my grandma’s brother’s son. So he’s always preaching to me about how I should respect the elderly every time I am in a disagreement with someone older then me, which he’s done more then one time.
Alright so I’m basically backed into the corner with him yelling at me over respect, my sister leaves because she couldn’t stand it, my cousin Lauren and grandma are cheering on Gary, and I’m being told three on one style that I should be respecting peoples money and not who they are, because that’s how things work in the real world.
Hi. Does that really make any sense? I can understand if Gary was trying to be righteous or what not but he literally was saying that. I’m not twisting his words. Real world is coming around. If you suck up your whole damn life that is probably not going to be the most efficient way to make money. I don’t need a suck up telling me how to live my life. A suck up who’s currently broke. Sure sure I don’t have a job, but why would listening to this guy be of any benefit? Why couldn’t I have had a rich person in the room who was on my side, that’d have been perfect timing for one eh?
You see I don’t care if people are older than me, have more money than me, or own the house I’m living in. If you are going to demand respect and proceed to disrespect me, you’re not going to get respect back. Do your worst, I will take the risk. What can I say I’m a gambling man. I’ve mentioned before that I’ll do things which might not benefit me in order to retain logical righteousness. I do not give up.
If I subconsciously use the word hell in a conversation, not directly aimed at someone like “go to hell” but more like my dictionary is showing for the second definition of it, “to overwhelm” it’s not the biggest deal in the world. Not to mention the fact I really was quite overwhelmed in that situation, wouldn’t you say?
I was two timed, cornered, and lectured, all over something which was none of the peoples in that rooms business. For I only asked my cousin to relay a message, not for anyones opinion. And I’m treated like a kid, and an enemy. Why is this? How did this situation even happen? Did I really do something wrong? I was quite upset after the whole ordeal and had to tell Mike to go home as I really was in a bad mood and didn’t want to hang out with him right then.
He understood. Even funnier is that an 8 year old watched the whole thing, and actually took my side in the end. He told me right after this happened that he agreed with me, and said something to the extent of “guns don’t kill people.” I was somewhat surprised, first coming from an 8 year old, and second considering his supposedly strict upbringing by his father Sam, who is if I haven’t already mentioned the person who said to put the guns at my aunt and uncle’s house to begin with. Sam’s intentions were good but did not favor me. Sam does own a shotgun from what I understand. Maybe his father actually talked to his son about gun safety, I wouldn’t know.
What I do know is that it was nice knowing someone was on my side for once. Of course, it’s someone younger then me, so they’re discredited by the elders. My sister agreed as well. In my country, age discrimination is banned in the constitution.