Xero's other waste of space

April 7, 2005

lifes little unsurprising surprises

Filed under: General — Xero @ 11:15 pm

Well I’ve been diagnosed with borderline adhd and anxiety, but I don’t feel all too bad about that, it’s nothing I didn’t already expect. So now I might have to take some meds which are basically the equivalent of speed. Yay, take speed, do work, fun times.

or whatever.

It does make it seem kind of pointless though. I mean anyone can take speed and be a workaholic for a day, except I might actually need it to function. That’s kinda weird. Something about the front of my brain being less active or something. Hey did someone drop me on the head as a baby?

Most likely though the anxiety I suffer was conditioned into me and my genetics didn’t help that seeing as there’s a family history of similar such occurrences. Oh well at least I don’t have obsessive compulsive disorder, that’s my least favorite one, you know. Schizophrenia was always my favorite disorder. I don’t know why, I guess because it’s hard to imagine what it’d be like. Seeing things and hearing things that aren’t there, having other people talk to you that are really just voices in your head.

I guess the idea of escaping from this reality has always been interesting to me so a disorder which is just that has got to be my favorite. Makes sense right? Drugs.

Drugs are fun, but it does get boring after a while, especially when it starts effecting you negatively, so I’m taking a hiatus from them yet again. Not sure for how long, but perhaps until I’m feeling better physically. I have this cough you see, and it’s not going away. I’m thinking it might be allergies or a reaction to my grandma’s cigarettes, it does seem to act up when she lights one up. I really should go to the doctor, and I will eventually, I guess I’m kinda waiting to see if it goes away by itself. I do hope there’s nothing seriously wrong with me, I’m always paranoid about that shit.

I had been smoking quite a bit more than I usually did. I used to be able to last months off barely any weed, but I was smoking those kind of amounts in days. I guess it’s no wonder I have this cough.

I’m not feeling too bad at the moment, so that’s good. I have to eat and take a shower and then I’m going to watch some TV. That sounds pretty good. I’ve basically finished the internet for the day. So the moral of the story is: eat your weed don’t smoke it. I think.

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